The most soothing sound in the world.

31May08

swish swash swish swash…..

I visualize the blood rushing through the vena cavae into the atria, how the lower pressure allows the liquid of life to flow straight into the chambers, and then proceeding through the mitral and tricuspid valves into the ventricles as the atria depolarize and contract. I marvel at how the impulse is passed from the AV to SA to the Bundle of His and each bundle branch. The ventricles contract, sending the blood hurling to the lungs and body and the whole thing repeats over and over again, I count the rate, 80 per minute, I am amazed at the cardiac conduction system, and how complicated it really is, and how often it is perfect, like it is right now. The fan is blowing my hair in my face. He’s alseep, I know because his respirations have slowed and his pulse is lower. I wonder if he knows that the reason I sleep with my hand on his chest is so that I never have to worry about apnea or arrhythmia. I recall where the glucagon kit is. It’s next to his phone and meter on the bedside table. I’ve never had to use it, but I know someday I may. On our wedding day he was cold and sweaty, I kept mouthing silently “is you blood sugar ok?”. He smiled and said not to worry. I ask again, sometime I know when it is low before he does. I check to make sure his pump is locked, I don’t ask him anymore, I just learned how to lock it. I have to do it almost nightly. His blood sugar was high before bed, he shouldn’t have eaten that cheesecake. I feel naggy when I tell him not to eat something, but his A1C was high this last visit, his doctor tells me what it is and I tell him. The blue light from the alarm clock glows. It’s 3AM and I have to be up for work in three hours. I pull myself off of his chest, pull the blanket up to cover him, turn to my stomach and place my hand on his chest and count the heartbeats as I drift off to sleep.

Filed under: Musings   |  
Tags: Husband